When carefully made plans stop working
By the beginning of August, the school summer holidays are well underway. For many separated parents, arrangements agreed several weeks earlier will be working smoothly. For others, the reality of managing childcare, work, travel and longer periods away from the usual routine may have created unexpected difficulties.
A collection may have been delayed, agreed time with a parent may have been cancelled or a child may not have been returned when expected. Holiday plans might have changed without proper discussion, or communication between parents may have become increasingly strained.
When arrangements begin to break down, it can be difficult to know whether to remain flexible, challenge what has happened or seek legal advice. The right response will depend on the circumstances, including whether the arrangements are informal or contained in a court order, why they have not been followed and whether there are any concerns about the child’s welfare.
The starting point should usually be to understand what has happened, keep the situation calm and focus on restoring stability for the child.
Is it a one-off problem or a continuing pattern?
Not every disruption to a summer arrangement means that one parent is deliberately preventing contact.
Travel delays, illness, unexpected work commitments and changes to children’s needs can all affect carefully made plans. Where the issue is isolated, and there is a reasonable explanation, parents may be able to resolve it by agreeing on a new handover time or arranging a replacement time later in the holidays.
Repeated disruption is different. A pattern may begin to emerge where contact is cancelled at short notice, agreed handovers regularly do not take place, calls are prevented, or one parent continually makes changes without consultation.
It can help to separate the immediate inconvenience from the wider issue. A late return on one occasion may be manageable. Repeatedly ignoring an agreed return time may indicate that the arrangements are no longer being respected or are no longer working.
Parents should avoid responding in the heat of the moment where possible. Angry messages can quickly increase conflict and may later make it harder to reach an agreement.
Check what was actually agreed
The next step is to look carefully at the arrangements that are in place.
Some parents rely on an informal agreement set out in messages, emails, a shared calendar or a parenting plan. These arrangements can work well, but they are not enforceable in the same way as a court order. Either parent may propose changes, although repeatedly departing from an agreement can still be disruptive and damaging for the child.
Where there is a Child Arrangements Order, its wording should be checked carefully. A Child Arrangements Order may set out where a child lives, when they spend time with each parent and any particular arrangements for school holidays, travel, telephone contact or handovers. If there is a Child Arrangements Order and one parent is not following it, the other parent may be able to ask the court to enforce the order.
Parents should not rely only on their memory of what the order says. Some orders divide school holidays equally, while others include specific dates, notice requirements or arrangements that differ from the usual term-time pattern.
An agreed variation may be possible where both parents support it. However, where only one parent wants to change a court-ordered arrangement, they should not assume that they are free to do so without further agreement or an application to vary the order.
Raise the issue calmly and practically
Where it is safe and appropriate, the first response will often be to raise the issue directly.
Communication should be brief, factual and focused on finding a solution. Rather than making accusations, a parent might confirm what had been agreed, explain what did not happen and ask how the missed time or disrupted handover can be addressed.
For example, the discussion might cover:
Written communication may be helpful where conversations regularly become difficult. It provides both parents with a clear record and allows time to consider a response rather than reacting immediately.
Children should not be used to carry messages between parents or asked to take responsibility for resolving the disagreement. Even where parents are frustrated, the child should be protected from arguments about where they should be and who is at fault.
Keep an accurate record of what happens
Where problems continue, it is sensible to keep a straightforward record.
This should not become a running commentary on every minor disagreement. The purpose is to record significant events accurately so that the position can be understood if professional advice or court involvement later becomes necessary.
Useful information may include:
A clear record can help identify whether the situation involves occasional practical difficulties or an established pattern of non-compliance.
What if the child does not want to follow the arrangement?
Summer arrangements can also become difficult when a child says they no longer want to stay with or see a parent.
A child’s views should not be ignored, particularly as they become older and more mature. However, parents should be cautious about treating the child as the sole decision-maker or immediately cancelling arrangements without understanding what lies behind the reluctance.
There may be a practical explanation. The child may be missing friends, worried about being away for a longer period than usual or unhappy about missing an activity. There may also be emotional or safeguarding concerns that require more careful attention.
Parents should listen without pressuring the child to choose sides or criticise the other parent. The response will depend on the child’s age, understanding and reasons for refusing. A child’s wishes are important, but a parent should be careful not to assume that a child’s reluctance automatically means the arrangements should stop.
If there is an immediate concern about the child’s safety, the position should be treated differently from an ordinary disagreement about holiday arrangements. Urgent legal advice may be needed.
What counts as a breach of a Child Arrangements Order?
Where a Child Arrangements Order is in place, failing to follow its terms may amount to a breach.
Examples could include refusing to make the child available at an agreed time, repeatedly cancelling ordered contact, preventing agreed telephone or video calls, returning the child late or keeping the child beyond an authorised holiday period.
The existence of a breach does not mean the court will automatically impose a penalty. The court will want to understand what happened and why. It cannot make an enforcement order where it is satisfied that the person had a reasonable excuse for failing to comply.
A genuine emergency, an unexpected event or a serious welfare concern may be relevant. Whether an explanation is reasonable will depend on the facts, including how the parent responded, whether they informed the other parent promptly and whether they acted proportionately.
Could mediation help?
Where direct discussions have not resolved the problem, family mediation may provide a way forward.
A mediator does not decide who is right or impose an arrangement. They help parents identify the areas of disagreement and explore whether a practical agreement can be reached in the child’s best interests. Mediation may be particularly useful where the underlying problem is unclear communication, different expectations or an arrangement that no longer fits the family’s circumstances.
Parents might use mediation to agree on replacement time, revise holiday handovers, clarify communication expectations or develop arrangements for the remainder of the school break.
Mediation will not be suitable in every case, particularly where there are safeguarding concerns, domestic abuse or a risk that a child may be removed or not returned.
Enforcing or changing a court order
If a Child Arrangements Order is repeatedly being ignored and attempts to resolve the issue have failed, the affected parent may be able to apply to the Family Court for enforcement using Form C79.
The court will consider whether the order was breached, whether there was a reasonable excuse and what response would best support the child’s welfare.
Depending on the circumstances, the court may make an enforcement order requiring unpaid work or order compensation for financial losses caused by the failure to comply. It may also decide that the existing arrangement should not be enforced in its current form because there was a good reason for the departure or because a different arrangement would be better for the child.
Enforcement is not always the most appropriate application. Where the difficulties show that the existing order is no longer practical, an application to vary the order may be more suitable. This could arise where children have grown older, work patterns have changed, travel has become difficult or the arrangement repeatedly creates conflict.
Legal advice can help a parent decide whether the priority should be enforcing the current order, seeking a variation or trying another form of resolution first.
When urgent advice may be needed
Some situations should not be left until the end of the holidays.
Urgent advice may be needed where:
The courts can consider urgent applications involving child arrangements, although an applicant will need to explain clearly why urgent action is necessary and provide the evidence on which they rely.
Parents should not assume that an urgent application will provide an immediate or straightforward solution. Advice should be sought as soon as the concern becomes apparent.
Focus on restoring stability
When summer arrangements go wrong, it is understandable for parents to feel disappointed, angry or anxious. However, the most constructive response is usually one that looks beyond the immediate disagreement and considers what the child needs next.
That may involve rearranging missed time, clarifying expectations, using mediation or seeking advice about a court order. In more serious cases, an application for enforcement or variation may be necessary.
Whatever route is taken, the focus should remain on reducing conflict, protecting the child from adult disagreements and restoring arrangements that are clear, safe and workable.
stevensdrake solicitors advises parents on Child Arrangements Orders, missed or disrupted contact, enforcement applications, variations and urgent disputes involving children. If summer arrangements have broken down or an existing order is not being followed, please contact our Family Law team for advice on the options available.
Kamal joined stevensdrake in 2017 having qualified as a solicitor in 2015. He was appointed head of the Family department in 2020 and Associate Director in 2022.
Prior to joining stevensdrake, Kamal spent time working in the Family departments of two highly respected Legal 500 ranked firms.
Having worked in Family Law for over a decade, Kamal has amassed a significant amount of experience and can advise on all areas of Family law. He has also built an extensive network within the Family law world and is able to draw on the assistance of specialist barristers and other professionals, where required.
Kamal predominately deals with the financial matters which arise following the breakdown of a marriage, civil partnership or cohabiting relationship. Many of Kamal’s cases involve assets of significant value (including property and pensions) but he is equally adept in cases where the assets are modest.
Kamal regularly advises in relation to wealth preservation and is often instructed to prepare or review Pre or Post Nuptial Agreements as well as Cohabitation Agreements for unmarried cohabitees.
Kamal is routinely instructed to deal with matters concerning children, whether this be to secure financial provision for them or to determine their living arrangements (in this Jurisdiction or abroad).
In all cases, Kamal always seeks to resolve disputes in the most amicable and cost effective way possible, and to ensure his clients are fully aware of their options from the outset, where possible.
Kamal also seeks to take the adversarial nature out of what is often a stressful and difficult experience. As a member of Resolution, Kamal is committed to helping his clients resolve their issues in a constructive way and is a keen proponent of all forms of alternative dispute resolution including but not limited to mediation and arbitration, which can often save clients significant costs and see their cases resolved far quicker than usual.
Outside of work, Kamal enjoys spending time with his family and is an avid fitness enthusiast and a long-suffering supporter of Crystal Palace FC. Kamal also provides mentoring via the Princes Trust and the LYLG Mentor Scheme. He has previously held the role of Trustee for a small charity focussed on relieving the effects of homelessness and the Tandridge Trust.
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